Bible Study Topic:  Relationships and God’s Intent

I.                    “It Takes Two To Make One” (excerpt from “Boundaries In Marriage” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John  Townsend)

Oneness. It’s the word romance is made of.  It’s the thing couples dream about when they first meet. Listen to a friend’s description when she feels she has finally found “the one”. Watch an old movie, and you’ll see the leading man and the leading lady gazing into each other’s eyes with the fantasy of total oneness.  In reality, this oneness is not a fantasy at all.  It’s God’s very design for marriage.  It’s the Bible’s description of marriage.  From the beginning, in the Garden of Eden, God decided that it was “not good for the man to be alone” and he put man and woman together to establish this oneness everyone seeks (Gen. 2:18). And Jesus told us, “A man must leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one.” (Mark 10:7-9)  So the movies are right after all: Oneness is real life.  What the movies don’t show, however, is what it takes to get there!.... Oneness is built over time as a relationship grows and as two become one….. The requirement for oneness is two complete people. … A complete person is able to do all the things that adult life and relationship requires: give love and receive love, be independent and self-sufficient, live out values honestly, be responsible, have self confidence, deal with problems and failures, live out their talents and have a life.  If two people who marry are complete, the oneness they establish will be complete….  You may have heard couples say, “We are such a good balance for each other.” This can be good if, for example, he is good at business and she is good at building the nest, or vice versa.  But it is not good if it means that she could not survive in the real world of work and commerce on her own without him.  If this is true, she has married a “meal ticket”, or someone to take care of her in a childlike dependency.  And he has married a “mother” to make the home that he could not build for himself while he goes off and plays during the day.

II.                 God’s Intent is clear!  Gen. 2:22-25

·        God brought her unto the man and he called her Woman!!!! – rely on God and notice the history behind taking the name the man gave her! No need to search!!

III.             Not God’s Intent!!!

·        Use OUR eyes – Gen. 6:1-7 “The sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they choose.” Result – the Flood; God’s proclamation that every imagination of our heart we are going to try to do “continually”. (see also Gen 8:21 where God repeats this observation after the flood)

·        We use Lust as our guide! – Romans 1:18-32 “Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools”.  (Idolatry, dishonor our bodies, vile affections, reprobate minds, …v29-30). Result – Death v32 (See also Prov. 14:12 There is a way that seemeth right to a man but the end result is death.)

·        Drawn away by our own lusts – James 1:13-16 when lust begins it brings sin and when sin is done it brings death; don’t fool yourselves God does not tempt us but we ourselves. Result – Death (i.e. separation from God)

·        Lovers of Self – 2 Timothy 3:1-7 “In the last day … lovers of self .. without natural affection … lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God … lead captive silly women laden with sins,  led away with divers lusts …” Result – “ever learning but never able to come to the knowledge of truth”.

IV.              Examples of our using OUR own eyes.

·        Gen. 3:6 Eve saw the tree that it was good for food and pleasant to eyes and for wisdom.  Result – sin and death into the world

·        Gen. 16:4-6 Sarah helped God so Abraham can have children. Result – eternal conflict and enemies to the Jews, first, and the Christians.

·        2 Samuel 11 and 12: Read 11 verse 2 – “the woman was very beautiful to look upon” then he made inquiry … Result – broken marriage, a dead husband, a dead innocent child, grief all around!!!

·        1King 11:1-43 Read verses 1-9 – His love of too many women and wanting to please them wore him down in his old age and he sinned against God. Result – God was angry with him

·        Add your own real life examples.

V.                 Example of God’s way

·        Matt. 6:24-34 God will take care of our material needs just keep your focus on him.

·        Phil. 4:6-7 God will take care of ALL.  Just pray and let God know what you desire.

·        James 1:12 Endure temptation to be tried and receive a crown of life.

·        Eph. 5:1-7 Let no one deceive you with vain words

·        1Cor. 7:1-2, 7-9.  To avoid fornication, marry. (Also 32-40 as unmarried cares for things of God but married cares of things of world how they might please their husbands).

·        Amorous at Any Age (article from “Pass It Along” March 2008 issue. See your Sunday bulletin for moreJ)

Boy meets girl. Sometimes it blossoms into love and sometimes it doesn’t.  When Briton’s James Mason and Peggy Clark first bumped into each other in Devon, England, they just knew they were meant to be together.  “It’s a miracle. I’m in a dream,” said Peggy.  “I knew instantly, but I couldn’t say because he would think I was picking him up.” “It was love at first sight,” James admitted, popping the question after just three days of courtship. “I thought I’d better grab her when I could because we didn’t want to live in sin,” he said.  And they don’t want to wait too long to tie the knot.  After all, James, 93, and bride-to-be, Peggy, 85, want to spend as much time together as they can – as Britain’s oldest newlyweds.

VI.              What now???

·        Hosea 4:6-7 People destroyed for a lack of knowledge BUT NOW YOU KNOW (frankly you knew before this study).

·        Know that what we have discussed from the Word is for all but especially those who are under Christ because it is then that you obtain the prize.  If you a just a good or just person then you will reap the reward of a just or good person but what you want is the reward of the righteous!!!! All repeat John 3:16 – If any here have not received Christ as his personal savior or feels like he/she is losing the battle with self and sin then whisper in your own hears today a confession to God that you know that you are a filthy dirty sinner and you ask for forgiveness and you repent from your old ways and want to continue in newness of life with Christ.  Ask him today to come into your heart.  Say it for yourself.  Let’s pray.